Something happened to me just recently that made me think about this trust issue. Do I trust too easily? I don’t think so, not anymore, but there was a time that trust was another one of those things that got all twisted up because of the abuse. I trusted or didn’t trust because of the way a person looked. I judged them by the look in their eyes. I discovered that I couldn’t do that because several times I found that I didn’t trust or like someone for that reason and later found them to be very nice people that I ended up friends with. I still do look at eyes because they tell a lot, but I’m careful about judging on just their eyes.
But there was another issue here. If someone was nice to me, I trusted them. But I’m sure you have heard that saying about a wolf in sheep’s clothes. In my book, I wrote of several incidents where I trusted people who were nice to me only to find in the end, they had ulterior motives, something not in my best interests.
So how do we know who the wolves are? That is not easy. I blogged about instincts, intuition and the still small voice previously and those are the tools I use to protect myself from people with ulterior motives.
This is what just recently happened to me that got me thinking about this. A man friended me on Facebook. I checked out his Facebook page, and he seemed normal. Pictures of he and his daughter that looked very nice, so I accepted his offer of friendship. I asked him how he found me thinking it might have something to do with my book but that wasn’t it. He was looking for a friend in the US and ran across me and liked my picture and checked out my profile and decided he might like me. He is from the UK. He started messaging me, and this went on for 10 days.
I felt flattered, and he brought a smile to my face. We asked each other all the things two people getting to know each other would ask. We had fun and laughed a lot. All the while this was going on, in the back of my thought I was suspicious, but I was having fun so continued. He had said nothing at all that was wrong, He was a perfect gentleman. I can see how women could get caught up in things like this.
I looked at his Facebook page again and didn’t like that he had updated his pictures the day before he friended me. Lower down on his page some shares disturbed me, but they were in a different language and had stopped in 2017, so I didn’t give them another thought. Then I told my daughter, and she was very upset about me doing this. She checked his page and didn’t like those old shares, so I asked him about them, and he gave me an explanation that made perfect sense to me so again I didn’t give them another thought. But still, something was niggling at the back of my mind. But I was having fun so continued messaging with him.
I had given him no personal information about myself, as far as where I lived, phone or email, etc. so I felt safe. But he was trying to get close, made out like he was falling in love with me. I thought he was full of it, but part of me, that part that was an abused child and still looking for love wanted to believe him. But still, I was being cautious. Should I trust him or not. NOT!
Then one night at midnight his time and six in the evening my time we were talking, and I had kidded him about not getting enough sleep, he had been staying up late talking with me for the last 10 nights. Then shortly later in the middle of our conversation it just stopped. I left messenger up and checked occasionally, but nothing. I figured he fell to sleep. I woke up at 3:30 in the morning and had an awful feeling about this whole thing and went to my computer and there was still no message, so I decided it was time to un-friend him from Facebook. Well, he beat me to it. He was nowhere to be found, Gone!
I immediately check my bank and investments online to make sure all was well and increased my security alerts. I also went into the bank and my financial office first thing in the morning to make sure I had made everything secure. Better safe than sorry.
I will never know the truth for sure. He may have decided he couldn’t handle a long-distance relationship, but he could have told me and said goodbye before he left, and since he didn’t I figured his intentions were not good. He probably figured he wasn’t getting anywhere with me so just shut everything down. So, my instincts were good. That little niggle that told me to be cautious was right on.
Ladies be very careful. Don’t get flattered into believing a lie. There are wolves out there trying to win us over for no good purpose.
I have to say that there is a part of me that would have liked it to be real. I have been single for 40 years and not dated in about 33 years. But at my age getting into a relationship just doesn’t fit into my life. When it was over, I was glad. I thought being retired, I could sit back and prop my feet up and read and not do much of anything. WRONG! I am as busy now as I was before I retired. Now I can get back to my normal routine. And life goes on, and on, and on. 😊 Isn’t it great. If you aren’t to this point yet, I pray that you will be soon. Life truly can be a joy.
Always remember there is one thing you can truly trust, it’s that niggle, it comes from God.