Every day I sit down at my computer and try to figure out what to write about. Sometimes it just pops into my head and other times I need to just sit quietly for a while before a subject comes to mind, like today. 😊 It’s been an hour since I put that smiley face there and it just came to me. Stop looking back.
There was a time when what I went through as a child seemed to consume my thought. I lived my childhood over and over again in my head until it just about drove me crazy. I became mesmerized by it and couldn’t move on, and all the effects of child abuse were ruining my life.
When I realized it was a pattern of thinking I had developed, I knew I had to change it. I had to stop thinking about it. I found this book that was filled with positive, happy quotes, and whenever I’d start to ruminate over my past or get caught up in thoughts about how I didn’t have what it takes to be a productive human being, I’d replace those thoughts with something from that book. I’d keep that thought in my head until I felt at peace. Something amazing happens after a while. Slowly those unhappy thoughts start to dissipate. Your thought patterns become more positive and upbeat.
When I added this process to the other things I was learning about my purity, smiling, and listening, and realizing I wasn’t stupid, I was becoming more pleasant to be around. I was also finding it easier to be around other people. At my worst, on a work level, I appeared to be normal, but on a personal level, I pretty much had shut myself off from everyone but my daughter. These processes were setting me free.
Excerpt from my book.
“I feel myself retreating even more from the rest of the human race, I need them, and I want them, but I can’t seem to get away from them fast enough. I’m afraid every time I walk out my door that one of my neighbors might be standing there. God, I don’t want to go back to that dark place, but that’s where I’m heading.”
My blogs are not giving you all the details of what I went through as I don’t want to give away all my book. I want you to buy it when it is published. 😊
Are you getting what I’m talking about? We need to expunge the past. What happened was not my fault, and if you were abused, it wasn’t your fault either. It was bad, and it takes determination to get over it. You must want to. You must be so tired of misery that you will do anything to get past it. Have you reached that point yet?
I went through many years of therapy, and it helped keep my head above water, but that’s all. I wasn’t ready then to give it all up. Something will happen one day, and you’ll just know, it’s time. And, when that happens, the path will just open for you. That’s the way it happened for me. All the tools I needed for my recovery just fell in my lap.
I am happy and free of the past. I hope that something I blog about will hit you and send you on the road to recovery. If not, I hope my book gets published, and it inspires you.
I’d like to mention now that if for some reason my book doesn’t get published because I can’t get my platform build up enough, so the agent will take me on as a client, that I will see to it that everyone that has followed my website gets a copy of the manuscript.
The platform is my ability to reach people. I need to be able to reach about 100,000 people. That’s a real job. I’m just getting started. Wish me luck. 😊